miss u

Sor Lou
my mind is full of u~
i miss u~
miss u badly..

wanted 2 text u
but somehow i didn't
dunno what's holding me back..
but i really miss u
T_T
- c y N t h i A -

words can't explain the pain that i feel deep inside
T_T


I love U~
- c y N t h i A -

tired~

I seriously hate this feeling
The feeling where everything around you doesn't turn out right
The feeling where you really hate the situation that you are in right now
I do agree that sometimes things dont go our way
but this time is almost everything dont go on my way
yes.. maybe my problem is not a problem of life and death
but it really matters to me alot!!


Lots of problem bothering me this few months
I've always tell myself to Hold on!! things will get better the next minute
console myself like a small kid
trying to be optimistic
unfortunately... a new problem arises before the old one is solved
eventually it accumulates more and more
till the extend that I can cry over a small matter
I'm much more sensitive now..
I somehow will blame myself for things that goes wrong


To be honest,

I'm tired...

I'm mentally & physically tired

All i wanna do is to hide..

I wanna escape!!

- c y N t h i A -

yes I'm noob

I'm stupid

I'm useless

I'm a complete looser


I suckxxx!!!

=(


- c y N t h i A -

i hate this mixed feeling

what should i do?

i dont know!!!

all i wanna do is to scream, shout and cry!!!!!!!!!

i wanna hide!!!

to a place where nobody can go~

- c y N t h i A -

I want Fujifilm Instax Mini 7s !!

I've always wanted a lomography camera
it's an analogue camera which uses those film like we used to in the past =)
I love the colours and the contrast that the camera can produce
it brings out the dreamy, vintage sorta picture
which i think is damn cool
it's so fun~
u can view those pictures Here


just now i've browse through a few websites and i found this Fujifilm Instax Mini 7 Polaroid Instant Camera!!
i've been googling this cutie for the whole day!!
nom nom nom... i want~~ ❤

"The new Fujiflim's Instax Mini 7S offer true-to-life colors and quality prints on a par with 46(W) x 62(H)mm prints.
Lightweight and compact, the stylish Instax Mini & goes anywhere. Operation is easy ~ simply check the LED exposure indicator and press the shutter. A beautiful credit card-size instant color photo is ready in minutes which is "Sharp and Clear"!
New Instax Mini 7S has 4 exposures adjustment mode "Dark","Cloudy","Clear","Fine".
Auto-off feature after 5 minutes of non-use."


my brother said he wants to buy a polaroid camera
but it's different from this tho..
i seriously fall in love with this sweetie
aww.. me likey~!!! ❤❤❤
but 1st of all i needa save money for this
coz my mom took my savings from my bank acc and lend it to my uncle T.T
can't wait to go for my internship and get those allowance
and bring u back home

wait for me~

❤

- c y N t h i A -

Shit!!
i said the wrong things again

='(

i feel damn bad now..

I shall shut my mouth

=X

haiz

really feel like slapping myself now!!!

WTF

- c y N t h i A -

=)

celebrate mid-autumn festival @ vern's place with a bunch of college mate last friday
brought my mickey mouse lantern but i left it in my dad's car
then when i get into Vern's car See Kei & Vern say those who didn't bring lantern have 2 be punished
so i go and buy a dinosaur glass paper lantern which i used to play when i was young XD
cant really remember when was the last time i played lantern
it was way looooong time ago..
had some girls talk with Sand, maine and alice that night
but it's just a short one..
all of us are going for internship, i'm gonna miss them all =(
later on sor lou came and picked me up
it was around 1 something almost 2 *i think*
i know he's very tired..
but he insists to send me back home that nite~
Thanks Sor Lou~~~

❤

 

 

had dinner with my parents and sor lou on Saturday
it was Sor Lou's 1st dinner with my parents
after dinner, we went for a ride around his housing area

then later on i got a call from shi wei
they ask us out for a drink at Old Town
afterthat we headed to Bukit Permai a.k.a Little Genting
it's my 1st time there, always heard of people talking abt that place
but i never been there before
and i finally got the chance to go there =)
the air was cooling but not as cold and misty as Genting
but we can still view the night scenery of  the entire KL.. quite nice tho
but it reminds me of Look Out Point
kinda long didn't go there already..
oh ya, we bought 7 boxes of candles and we played candles ^^
it really bring back the memories of my childhood..
then we went back around 1 something
overnight at sor lou's place =)

woke up around 2pm ytd
had our brunch at Old Town a.k.a my sor lou's 2nd home XD
then headed off to Port Dickson with my sor lou
i was so excited as it was our 1st time going outstation like this =D
he was singing all the way to PD
kaka that's my boy~ ❤
by the time we arrived PD it's alry 6pm
lolx.. we were kinda lost when we 1st arrived coz we took the back way and we couldn't find the beach
so we seek for direction
finally arrived  to our destination
we sat by the shore and watched the sun set

our footprints

^^

brought the leftover candles along
but it was so windy that we find it difficult to lit them up
even took a long time to light up the fire

 

our

❤

really had a great time with my baby sor lou =)

appreciate it alot!!

how i wish i could spend more time with him~
coz both of us gonna be very busy for the next few months
=(

sigh this few weeks i've been very moody and down
but i'm happie now~
=D

Sor Lou ahh Sor Lou~

Thx for everything~

mwahxxxx

i miss euuu

❤

- c y N t h i A -

Sigh

Couldn't sleep again T.T
 

going for my second interview tomorrow
i was browsing thru the company's website
&
"googled" some interview tips
the whole day
did some preparation..
coz i wasn't prepared for d 1st interview and i sort-of screwed that interview

hope everything goes well 2mr~

=)

shit..

that feeling is coming back
feel damn moody now

=(

(*&^)";%#@^&*

Lord,

Plz grant me the wisdom and strength each day,

May You continuously pour Your Blessing to our family and everyone around me.

Amen

- c y N t h i A -

was suppose to go for interview yesterday
i called them a couple of times coz i wanted to postpone the interview as i'm not feeling well and my eyes are swollen but nobody answered the call
probably they haven't start working yet
then i juz got a call from them
and they want to interview me tomorrow
sigh.. kinda worry
coz i heard a lot of bad comments from a few people about the company
i suggested ms vicky to send my CV to 2 more companies that i gave her
but through her reply, i knew that my chances of getting into other company is very very low
cause she insist to put me there
sigh..

even though i'm having my holiday now
but i still dreamt of assignments and presentation EVERYNIGHT!! =(
which i think it's a nightmare for me =S
God!!! Help me~~~

hrmm..
that's all for now..
needa wash my eyes..
very itchy!!!
damn irritating..
- c y N t h i A -

gosh..
i'm going for an interview tomorrow and what am i doing now at this hour???
couldn't sleep at all T.T
sigh..
sor lou having diarrhea
hope he can get well soon~

sleepy + headache + hungry
=(

*wish me luck*
- c y N t h i A -

I'm gonna miss him badly =(

Sigh..
juz got to know that my Sor Lou is going to work till 10pm everyday..
including weekends *sob*
which means we're not going to meet each other so often alry
but it's true that he should put his job as priority =)
Sor Lou.. Gambateh!!!!!
I will always be right by your side supporting you ^_^

Camwhoring with Stitch and His tee
^^

wearing his T-shirt
^^

Sor Lou~
I'm so gonna miss you ALOT!!!!

Mwahxx

- c y N t h i A -

can you hear me?

Everyone seems so moody today...
Everyone has their own problems,
but

I have mine too!!

but Can you guys hear me?
*sob*

- c y N t h i A -

Exam is over~

Yuhoo~~
finally finished my last paper today !!!!!!!!!!!!
but i screwed all the papers
all i know is that i write shitty answers on that f*cking piece of paper sigh~
last minute revision again WTD */self slap*
and i really dont have the motivation to study at all
tend to lose my interest in my studies
really dunno what am i doing in college, didn't pay attention in class also
what they teach also dunno =.=
sometimes really wanted to skip class *double slap*
WAKE UP CYNTHIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *triple slap*
sigh~

Whee~~~
exam is over~~!!!!!!!!
but heck.. there's one more Account Management individual assignment to rush for.. T.T
internship is starting soon and yet i still dunno where i will be placed in
i've sent my CV to Ms Vicky but haven't get any news or call yet
sighhhh


Went to OU for brunch in Shogun with Sor Lou, and my aunt last saturday =)
afterthat we watched "where got ghost?"
it was quite funny though!!
we spend our time in the arcade while waiting for the movie to start
this cute lil stitch catches my attention when we pass by the toy claw machine
then sor lou decided to grab it for me ^^
and he made it !!!! ^^
thanks baby
Mwah~~

Stitchie~~~
^^

This cute lil doll was actually being grabbed with Stitch
yes~ he grabbed two toys at one time =D
we gave it to his lil' cousin sister
she's really adorable~~

Doing my revision with Stitch ^^
Mwah~

i will end my post with.....

SorLou~~~~

SorPo

- c y N t h i A -

i see stars~~ @.@

phew~~
finally finished our IMC presentation..
one more presentation and individual assignment to go!!
GAMBATEH!!!!!!
alamak... my Final is right around da corner
GOSH!!!!
afterthat is internship
DOUBLE GOSH!!!!
i'm seriously not ready to go for internship yet T.T
needa look for company summore
aihzzzzz
fan fan fan
fan ah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
moreover this few days also dunno wat happen
keep on kena blame for no reason
damn sui
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
(*^^^%$%$$^$*
fan~

btw all i need now is a good rest
after few weeks of sleepless nights
i think i better go to bed now before i fainted
coz....
i see STARS on top of my head!!!
seriously~
*_*

ZZZzzzz

aihsss.. miss my sor lou tim
T.T
- c y N t h i A -

haiz
WTH WTH WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i can say is
I am extremely...

disappointed

v
v


Tired

v
v

tend to lose hope

v
v

give up

I'm trying to be strong
I'm trying to keep my faith
but in the end everything is going down hill
I'm really tired
Mentally and Physically exhausted
I surrender all to Thee
I have to lift up my spirits
Grant me the endurance to endure
for I know You won't disappoint me
- c y N t h i A -

Sor Lou

without my expectation..
this is my 100th post for this bloggie~ ^^
and of course the special post is for the special ones
i'm here to announce that...

I'm in LoVe with my Sor Lou

Mmmwaaahhhhh

My baby Sor Lou bought for me ^^

The Spaces between fingers were created
so that yours could fill them in
^^

I may not get to see you as often as I like.
I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night.
I may not be the perfect one that you expected.
But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love.
You occupies the space in my heart.
My mind is full of You.
I always wanted to spend more time with you.
Wanted to be at your side for every single seconds.
You might not feel it.
Sigh.. i do not know how 2 express my love.
Sorry if I doesn't love you the way you wanted me to.
Sorry if i've disappoint you.
No matter what, I REALLY DO LOVE YOU
and all I wanted to say is....
Sor Lou~ I LOVE YOU!!!!
*hugs and kisses*

Muackssssss
I miss U badly~ T.T

lots of love ,

- daRlinG a.k.a SoR Po -

Is there a Rainbow after the storm??

Where's my rainbow?
When will my storms end..
yes.. i may look like i have no troubles at all
but i've been suffering from all kinds of shit this few months
i have been keeping it all to myself
i got no one to talk to
even if i have it now
i wouldn't want to mention it again
sometimes i really wanna vomit everything out
but...
sigh~ juz forget it
some people even realize that i'm kinda quiet lately
some even ask y am i so emo? y am i so moody?
i also have no idea.. i juz dont feel like talking
sorry guys~

haiz damn fucking stresss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i was thinking that i will feel better after i grab some fresh air outside
but for some reason i juz feel like crying again
my tears keep on rolling in my eyes
i was trying very hard to hold back my tears
i don wan my dad 2 worry
i will never cry infront of other people unless i cannot control it
but i still remember last year i failed to hold my tears and burst out crying infront of my dad
that time daddy was sending me back from college
and i was too stressed with my life, out of my control i burst out crying non stop until i suffer from breathing difficulties
can u imagine how stress i am that time
my dad was very worry and he was thinking wat on earth is wrong with me
but after crying i feel way alot better

i've been holding my tears while hunting for my stuff in Carrefour juz now
the only thing in my mind is that i wanna get back home lock myself in the room and cry
sigh~~
I have been crying alot recently
kinda sensitive
can even cry over a small things
dunno why i juz feel like crying~~
and i can cry randomly~

shucks.. tomorrow will be my CEP individual assignment's due date
and i still have no idea wat to do now
havent even started a single thing
it's already 12.43am
and i'm still blogging
WTD!!!!!
how i wish tomorrow will be the end of the day
then i no need 2 worry about this stupid assignment
gahhhhhhhh I think too much edy

when will my storms end??
I'm tired...
seriously very tired..
i tend to lose hope and faith..
in fact i dunno wat's my hope
my purpose of living
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I really really really afraid that i'm gonna collapse
Wat will happen if i collapse one day?
is it the day i will commit suicide?
will i suffer from mental disorder?
nah.. i dont think i will commit suicide
but in fact i kinda worry that i will become crazy
as in i will turn into a lunatic
i am serious..

Dear Lord~
Pls give me the strength and courage to move on
I surrender all to Thee
Lead me and Guide me Lord~
Save me~~

Cynthia ah Cynthia~~
U gotta be strong!!!!!!!

- c y N t h i A -

LORD
Pls give me the courage to overcome it
Pls give me strength to carry on
U're the only one who know how i feel deeply inside
I really afraid that i will fall and collapse
T.T
Dear Lord
You are my Rock
You are my Refuge and Strength
I need YOU~
Lead me the way U wanted me to be~
the way that U have planned for me..
coz i know U'll have the BEST PLAN for me
^^
- c y N t h i A -

quiz of the day XD

Yo people~
guess wat i found in my cup ??







TADAA~~

left my cup on the table last nite
then i found this tiny little creature in my cup when i woke up
i was like WTH!!!
btw
when u take a closer look at it
it's kinda scary though
like a mini alligator~
XD
*click on the pic to enlarge it*

- c y N t h i A -

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
damn moody!!!!
feel like swearing
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shit juz bought my portable speaker in PC fair last saturday
and i dunno where did i place it
have been looking for it for hours
but i still couldn't find it

F
A
R
K
!!!!!
*oopsss!! i sweared*
but in a "better" way
i think
>.<" - c y N t h i A -

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.

1 Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8

Happy 1st Month Anniversary <3
I LuRv3 U~~~
huhu..
will update soon
^^
- c y N t h i A -

Stress, Helpless, Hopeless, Speechless

Apparently it has been a long time since i last post an update
So many things has happened for the past few months
dunno where should I start
Should I continue from where I stopped from the previous post
or should I write a new post on my recent life
that's one of the reason I've "abandon" my bloggie for quite sometime as I dunno where should I start

Actually I was in the mood today and I wish that I can actually come back early and update my bloggie
who knows something happened without my expectation
and that really hit me right to the ground =(
have been crying for hours~

I've been busying with my college stuff
I'm in my 4th Semester now!!
another stress and restless semester
damn alot of assignments
it's like we will get an assignment in every class which carries no marks and it's due on the next class
now we're having 2 weeks holidays
as we're moving to the new campus
how often can we get a holiday from IACT???
it aint a holiday anyway..
we've tons of assignments to do
have group meeting almost everyday
staying overnite at BK's house with maine tomorrow
juz to rush for the bloody assignment
Damn i still have no idea for my CEP individual assignment!!
i got stucked!!
and it's gonna due soon
stress stress stress!!!!
My department from Student council also got problem adoi!!!!!!!!!
grrrrr many things happened
college, family, social relationship
I feel like my life is damn f*cked up

I juz feel like going to a place where i can be alone
where nobody know who am I
or maybe hide myself just like tortoise hide themselves in their shell
too many things happened
too many obstacles to face
i somehow feel like all of my frens are far apart recently
all were busying with their life
who can i talk to?
how I wish I can shout and scream like nobody business now
NO.. it should be "How I wish I wasn't born"
LORD!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sry.. it was suppose to be a happy post
i wanted 2 share my joy with u guys
but... sigh
speechless
emo+ing
- c y N t h i A -

T.T

a fren of mine showed me a video juz now..
damn touching~
non stop crying when i 1st saw this video..
i know i'm very emo
and i still listening to it now T.T
i'm in love with this song~
all my hair still standing man..
sigh damn sad larh~

一位１７岁少女的刻骨铭心的爱情创作。
没有人知道这个女孩的名字，但是大家能确认的是这个女孩已经死了。
对于这首歌有很多种说法，
有人说是当时这个女生得了癌症，这首歌是要给她男朋友做纪念。
也有人说是这首歌是讲述那女孩子被男友抛弃，在自杀前写的一首歌。 
还有的是她和她的男友很相爱，可是不幸的是，她的男友生了重病，然后那个女的便写了这首歌给他，过后写了之后，男了去世了，女的也跟着自杀。


在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

先走了 去了好远的地方
不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易
生死由天决定 不要太伤心
在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃

心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
我 永远 爱你。

lots of things to say but i'm damn sleepy now..
took a flu medicine that's y felt a lil dizzy rite now..
haven't pack my clothes for 2mr's genting trip tim..
will continue on this post when i come back from genting ^^

aihz.. really feel damn sad after listening to this song
really don feel like goin to bed
juz wanna listen to this song again and again~
*sob sob*



- c y N t h i A -