can you hear me?

Everyone seems so moody today...
Everyone has their own problems,
but

I have mine too!!

but Can you guys hear me?
*sob*

- c y N t h i A -

haiz
WTH WTH WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i can say is
I am extremely...

disappointed

v
v


Tired

v
v

tend to lose hope

v
v

give up

I'm trying to be strong
I'm trying to keep my faith
but in the end everything is going down hill
I'm really tired
Mentally and Physically exhausted
I surrender all to Thee
I have to lift up my spirits
Grant me the endurance to endure
for I know You won't disappoint me
- c y N t h i A -

Is there a Rainbow after the storm??

Where's my rainbow?
When will my storms end..
yes.. i may look like i have no troubles at all
but i've been suffering from all kinds of shit this few months
i have been keeping it all to myself
i got no one to talk to
even if i have it now
i wouldn't want to mention it again
sometimes i really wanna vomit everything out
but...
sigh~ juz forget it
some people even realize that i'm kinda quiet lately
some even ask y am i so emo? y am i so moody?
i also have no idea.. i juz dont feel like talking
sorry guys~

haiz damn fucking stresss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i was thinking that i will feel better after i grab some fresh air outside
but for some reason i juz feel like crying again
my tears keep on rolling in my eyes
i was trying very hard to hold back my tears
i don wan my dad 2 worry
i will never cry infront of other people unless i cannot control it
but i still remember last year i failed to hold my tears and burst out crying infront of my dad
that time daddy was sending me back from college
and i was too stressed with my life, out of my control i burst out crying non stop until i suffer from breathing difficulties
can u imagine how stress i am that time
my dad was very worry and he was thinking wat on earth is wrong with me
but after crying i feel way alot better

i've been holding my tears while hunting for my stuff in Carrefour juz now
the only thing in my mind is that i wanna get back home lock myself in the room and cry
sigh~~
I have been crying alot recently
kinda sensitive
can even cry over a small things
dunno why i juz feel like crying~~
and i can cry randomly~

shucks.. tomorrow will be my CEP individual assignment's due date
and i still have no idea wat to do now
havent even started a single thing
it's already 12.43am
and i'm still blogging
WTD!!!!!
how i wish tomorrow will be the end of the day
then i no need 2 worry about this stupid assignment
gahhhhhhhh I think too much edy

when will my storms end??
I'm tired...
seriously very tired..
i tend to lose hope and faith..
in fact i dunno wat's my hope
my purpose of living
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I really really really afraid that i'm gonna collapse
Wat will happen if i collapse one day?
is it the day i will commit suicide?
will i suffer from mental disorder?
nah.. i dont think i will commit suicide
but in fact i kinda worry that i will become crazy
as in i will turn into a lunatic
i am serious..

Dear Lord~
Pls give me the strength and courage to move on
I surrender all to Thee
Lead me and Guide me Lord~
Save me~~

Cynthia ah Cynthia~~
U gotta be strong!!!!!!!

- c y N t h i A -

Stress, Helpless, Hopeless, Speechless

Apparently it has been a long time since i last post an update
So many things has happened for the past few months
dunno where should I start
Should I continue from where I stopped from the previous post
or should I write a new post on my recent life
that's one of the reason I've "abandon" my bloggie for quite sometime as I dunno where should I start

Actually I was in the mood today and I wish that I can actually come back early and update my bloggie
who knows something happened without my expectation
and that really hit me right to the ground =(
have been crying for hours~

I've been busying with my college stuff
I'm in my 4th Semester now!!
another stress and restless semester
damn alot of assignments
it's like we will get an assignment in every class which carries no marks and it's due on the next class
now we're having 2 weeks holidays
as we're moving to the new campus
how often can we get a holiday from IACT???
it aint a holiday anyway..
we've tons of assignments to do
have group meeting almost everyday
staying overnite at BK's house with maine tomorrow
juz to rush for the bloody assignment
Damn i still have no idea for my CEP individual assignment!!
i got stucked!!
and it's gonna due soon
stress stress stress!!!!
My department from Student council also got problem adoi!!!!!!!!!
grrrrr many things happened
college, family, social relationship
I feel like my life is damn f*cked up

I juz feel like going to a place where i can be alone
where nobody know who am I
or maybe hide myself just like tortoise hide themselves in their shell
too many things happened
too many obstacles to face
i somehow feel like all of my frens are far apart recently
all were busying with their life
who can i talk to?
how I wish I can shout and scream like nobody business now
NO.. it should be "How I wish I wasn't born"
LORD!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sry.. it was suppose to be a happy post
i wanted 2 share my joy with u guys
but... sigh
speechless
emo+ing
- c y N t h i A -