Is there a Rainbow after the storm??

Where's my rainbow?
When will my storms end..
yes.. i may look like i have no troubles at all
but i've been suffering from all kinds of shit this few months
i have been keeping it all to myself
i got no one to talk to
even if i have it now
i wouldn't want to mention it again
sometimes i really wanna vomit everything out
but...
sigh~ juz forget it
some people even realize that i'm kinda quiet lately
some even ask y am i so emo? y am i so moody?
i also have no idea.. i juz dont feel like talking
sorry guys~

haiz damn fucking stresss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i was thinking that i will feel better after i grab some fresh air outside
but for some reason i juz feel like crying again
my tears keep on rolling in my eyes
i was trying very hard to hold back my tears
i don wan my dad 2 worry
i will never cry infront of other people unless i cannot control it
but i still remember last year i failed to hold my tears and burst out crying infront of my dad
that time daddy was sending me back from college
and i was too stressed with my life, out of my control i burst out crying non stop until i suffer from breathing difficulties
can u imagine how stress i am that time
my dad was very worry and he was thinking wat on earth is wrong with me
but after crying i feel way alot better

i've been holding my tears while hunting for my stuff in Carrefour juz now
the only thing in my mind is that i wanna get back home lock myself in the room and cry
sigh~~
I have been crying alot recently
kinda sensitive
can even cry over a small things
dunno why i juz feel like crying~~
and i can cry randomly~

shucks.. tomorrow will be my CEP individual assignment's due date
and i still have no idea wat to do now
havent even started a single thing
it's already 12.43am
and i'm still blogging
WTD!!!!!
how i wish tomorrow will be the end of the day
then i no need 2 worry about this stupid assignment
gahhhhhhhh I think too much edy

when will my storms end??
I'm tired...
seriously very tired..
i tend to lose hope and faith..
in fact i dunno wat's my hope
my purpose of living
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I really really really afraid that i'm gonna collapse
Wat will happen if i collapse one day?
is it the day i will commit suicide?
will i suffer from mental disorder?
nah.. i dont think i will commit suicide
but in fact i kinda worry that i will become crazy
as in i will turn into a lunatic
i am serious..

Dear Lord~
Pls give me the strength and courage to move on
I surrender all to Thee
Lead me and Guide me Lord~
Save me~~

Cynthia ah Cynthia~~
U gotta be strong!!!!!!!

- c y N t h i A -